what if
by Dreamwriter5000
Summary: What happened when Reid invited JJ to the Redskins game in season 1? Here is one possibility. I own nothing. All copyrights are the property of their owners. For entertainment purposes only.


What if?

(Criminal Minds)

(JJ+Reid)

"Morning Spence, have you left yet?" JJ's voice had an edge that only materialized when she was angry. Spencer Reid glanced at his watch. He wasn't late. In fact, if he had been leaving, he'd have arrived almost fifteen minutes early. So,

"No—"

"I'll pick you up. Be there in ten or fifteen minutes."

"Okay. See—" but JJ had already hung up. Spencer ate a last bite of his breakfast and put the dishes in the sink. If JJ was as angry as he thought, it would be five or ten minutes, not fifteen.

Five minutes later, brakes squealed outside his front door. JJ appeared a little surprised when he arrived so promptly. Her greeting cancelled any plan Spencer had to offer to drive.

She said, "Is it all guys, or is Will the only man who is convinced he knows everything about raising boys?" She didn't give him a chance to answer, saying, "He wants to send Henry to a boarding school!" She glanced at Spencer, her expression full of righteous indignation.

Spencer didn't want Henry sent away to school either, but he didn't want to come between JJ and Will. He chose the least inflammatory response he could think of. He said, "I'm guessing he didn't agree with your arguments against the idea?"

Will had not only not agreed with JJ's arguments, he'd proffered several of his own, which JJ proceeded to relate and refute. The recitation fueled her anger and distracted her from driving. It didn't take long for Spencer to regret chickening out of asking to drive.

He did see the woman pushing a stroller step off the curb and trip, sending the stroller into the intersection. JJ was too wrapped up in her own turmoil to notice.

"JJ! Stop!"

JJ slammed the brakes even before her gaze snapped back to the roadway. They screeched to a stop in the middle of the intersection, inches from the stroller, as it passed in front of them. Only a lack of traffic at such an early hour prevented someone from rear ending them. Reid looked at JJ, who stared at the slowly moving stroller with mingled relief and dismay.

"You—" He started to ask if she was all right, but his attention was seized by the white pickup that charged into the intersection. Spencer had no time to try and warn JJ before it slammed into JJ's side of their vehicle, and the impact stunned him.

###

"JJ! JJ, talk to me."

JJ opened her eyes and tried to think past the pounding in her head. Despite the headache, Reid's expression reminded her of their one and only date; the Redskin's game.

The concern and uncertainty in his expression was much stronger, but matched what she'd seen when he arrived to pick her up that afternoon. He'd taken one look at her jersey and other football regalia and suffered a severe case of social anxiety.

Inspiration struck. She said, "Did you ever wear the Redskins jersey I got you?"

Surprise blossomed across his expression, followed by chagrin. He said, "On Halloween for a couple of years. Then it became a nightshirt. I called local cops and paramedics. Help's on the way."

"Great. Now, if you have something for a headache, your boy scout image will be flawless."

"That's not entirely true. The classic—"

"Spence, please. Not right now. " JJ stared at her friend and wondered, _What was I so afraid of? Why didn't I give him a chance?_ She closed her eyes, trying to will the headache away. _What if I had? What if—_

Spencer was trying to get her attention again, but the possibilities of that afternoon at the football game drew her to paths not taken.

###

JJ grinned at Spencer's expression and said, "Yes, it's a little over the top, but football was _important_ when I was growing up. It was the one thing the whole family enjoyed."

"You realize we'll be in a private box. No one is going to—appreciate—your costume except me?"

"Then you'll just have to appreciate it enough for everyone." She gave him her best impish grin and was rewarded with a charmingly confused expression. "Don't worry, let's go. I don't want to miss the pregame antics."

"Antics?"

"I'll explain on the way. Let's go!"

They went.

The game was one of the best she'd seen; full of incredible offense and enough clever defense to ensure that neither team had everything its own way.

Spencer asked a few intelligent questions, but mostly he seemed to enjoy her enjoyment of the game.

When the Redskins won, JJ couldn't help herself, she leaped to her feet and yelled her excitement with the rest of the fans. It wasn't enough. Excitement and happiness still flooded through her, demanding an outlet, so she threw her arms around Spencer and planted a kiss on his cheek. When she released him, he looked like she'd hit him, rather than kissed him.

He recovered and attraction replaced surprise. She failed to control her expression and he was too astute at reading it to miss her dismay. Pain replaced the attraction and he said, "What? Why not?"

"Spence, I didn't mean—"

"I know. But what's wrong with giving me a chance? Is there someone else?"

"No, but there are rules, and—"

"Gideon gave me the tickets. No one is going to enforce those rules. What are you afraid of JJ?"

 _What am I afraid of?_ Spencer would never hurt her. He'd been hurt too often himself, but—

"If it doesn't go anywhere, I don't want it to mess up things at work. I don't want the team to have to choose sides. And I might hurt you. I have a horrible track record when it comes to this sort of thing."

"How about we keep it out of work until we know where it's going? Is dinner and dancing such an awful risk? I heard about a new club. If I buy dinner, will you teach me the new dances?" His smile came back, winsome and adorable.

 _He's an adult. I warned him. He's right, dinner and dancing isn't a big deal. Why not?_

She answered his smile with one of her own and said, "When did you have in mind?"

###

Their second evening out was less intense, but equally enjoyable. Spencer seemed content to take the evening at face value and turned out to be a surprisingly good dancer. He waited a week before inviting her to an astronomy exhibit. She enjoyed it more than she expected to. Although she thought it was probably tedious for Spencer, he hid any such feelings well. She invited him to a concert and, with some trepidation, a science fiction convention.

They managed to keep things low key and away from the eyes of the team for several months.

Afraid Spencer would lose it with the added pressure of being teased about potential attraction to a beautiful Hollywood actress, JJ contrived a meeting with her counterpart in sex crimes when that case hit her desk.

It was the Fisher King case, or rather, what happened once they closed it, that convinced JJ that taking the next step in their budding relationship was a good thing. Seeing Spencer with his mom reminded her of advice her own mom had given her. _If you're ever in doubt about a man, find out how he treats his mom or his sisters. If he's golden with them, you have nothing to worry about._

###

Spencer was golden, and more precious to her with every moment they spent together. So when Tobias Henkel raised the awful specter of life without him, JJ nearly lost it.

When they found Spencer, and he told her it wasn't her fault, she wasn't sure which she wanted more, to hold him forever, or slap him silly. _Of course it is!_ She thought. _But you're priceless for saying so, and I'm never letting go again._

She waited until they reached the hospital and he'd been checked out by the a doctor. When the doctor left, JJ shut the door behind him and took Spencer in her arms again. She held him for a long moment and said, "Will you marry me?"

She felt him go still for a moment before extricating himself from her embrace and holding her at arm's length. His eyes bored into hers and he said, "Jennifer, It's been a crazy night. You're stressed, I'm stressed, and I doubt either of us are thinking clearly. Are you sure you want to ask this now?"

"It won't matter when I ask. The question will be the same. I don't ever want to regret not asking, or not being sure that you know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Are you afraid your answer will be different?"

This smile was not winsome. It was serious and considered, if a smile can be labeled as such.

"No, and Yes, I'll marry you."

The rest of the team were overjoyed at their news, but the actual wedding was delayed as everyone considered how to keep the team together in the face of regulations that said spouses could not work in the same office.

The months of wrangling with HR and Legal were compounded by Spencer's PTSD. When she found him loading a syringe with the delauded he'd taken from Henkel, she almost cried.

"You have to get help!" She insisted. "This isn't the answer, and you know it." He wouldn't look at her, so she took hold of his shoulders and shook him gently. "Talk to someone. It doesn't have to be me, but talk to someone. You know there are things that will help, but this isn't one of them."

He didn't say anything right then, but he handed her the syringe and the bottles holding the drug before sinking onto the couch and covering his face with both hands.

He did talk to her later that night, and they went to his first AA meeting the following week. She was never as proud of him as she was when he stood before the other attendees and said, "My name is Spencer, and I'm an addict."

###

Months later, the bottom of JJ's life seemed to drop away. Gideon left. Spencer was devastated and although he never spoke of it to the others, admitted to her that with Gideon's departure, he was also having doubts about remaining. The drawn out negotiations with legal and HR had stalled and would not succumb to even her impressive bureaucratic manipulations. When Spencer found out, it cemented things for him. He gave Hotch notice and transferred to linguistics.

Hotch and Haley hosted the wedding and reception at their home as a going away gift for Spencer. Morgan was Spencer's best man, Penelope was her maid of honor, and Jack was ring bearer.

Spencer's loss was a blow to the team, one that David Rossi's arrival eased, but did not heal. For a time, JJ wondered if regrets would drive Spencer back to delauded, since he didn't really seem any happier in linguistics.

That was when she discovered she was pregnant. Spencer was overjoyed and spent his days off reading about child psychology and midwifery. He talked about becoming a pediatrician. She was glad he was happier, but her own work had become less satisfying. Something was missing, the whole team felt it, and she was pretty sure that 'something' was Spencer.

When they got around to talking about names, she was surprised at how amenable Spencer was to her choices. Her mother had warned her that men often insisted on naming sons, but Spencer appeared content with her choice.

"Henry is a fine name." He assured her. And she remembered that Will had chosen that name, not her. She woke up.

Spencer sat in the room's only chair, reading about quantum physics. He felt her gaze, or heard her move, and looked up. Finding her awake, his smile came back. It was sincere, if not as joyful as previous versions. He put the book down and leaned forward.

He said, "Welcome back! How do you feel?'

JJ took stock. Her head hurt a bit, but she'd had worse after a stressful week at work. Her left arm was in a sling and trying to move her fingers was painful, but she could do it.' She could feel what was probably an impressive collection of bruises, but all told…

"Not bad, considering. Does Will know?"

"Yep. The nanny doesn't mind staying late and if she has an emergency, I don't have any plans. It's all taken care of."

"Thanks. Any idea how long I'm in here for?"

"Until tomorrow. The doctor wants you under observation overnight because of the concussion."

JJ nodded, thinking about her dream. Curiosity nibbled and nudged until she had to ask. "Spence?"

"Yes?"

"What are you going to name your kids?"

The question took him by surprise and for a long moment he just stared at her. Finally he said, "Um, I hadn't thought about it yet. It didn't seem necessary until I knew when the child would arrive. Why?"

JJ shrugged. "Curious. Would you want to choose the name? Or would you be okay if the child's mother wanted to? "

Spencer's gaze became bewildered. He said, "JJ, are you pregnant? Does Will have a name picked out that you don't like?"

She laughed and shook her head, saying, "No! I just—I had a weird dream and it has me thinking weird stuff. Don't worry about it." She lay back against the pillow and closed her eyes, hoping to fall asleep so she could find out what her subconscious thought Spencer would name a child.

###

"She'll be fine, Spencer," Rossi said, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze. " The doctor isn't worried." Spencer nodded, tore his gaze away from JJ's sleeping form and looked at Rossi.

"She asked me what I would name my kids."

Rossi's eyebrows tried to reach his hairline and a grin slid across his expression. "You two have something going on the rest of us don't know about?"

He glared at Rossi, who managed to suppress the grin and said, "Is she expecting again?"

"That was my thought, but she said no."

"Then maybe she's thinking of letting you name her next one and wants to find out if it's a good idea."

They headed toward the exit as Spencer tried to banish his guilty feelings

The doctor's news should have alleviated the guilt. Even if his own cowardice in not demanding to drive had caused the accident, JJ was going to be okay. _I won't make the same mistake again, so letting the guilt torment me serves no useful purpose._ _I guess I should start thinking about baby names._

But that train of thought was derailed when he remembered her comment about the football jersey. That recalled the afternoon spent in a private stadium box watching the Redskins beat….He couldn't remember who they'd played now. What he did remember was what happened after they won.

###

Gideon had been correct. Spencer enjoyed himself immensely, more for JJ's company than the game. She answered all his questions about strategy and the few rules he'd missed while familiarizing himself with the game. JJ enjoyed the game more than he did, exclaiming over several spectacular offensive plays and leaping out of her chair at one particularly impressive defensive save. When her team won, she leaped to her feet and cheered as enthusiastically as any of the other fans.

The exuberant hug and the peck on the cheek surprised and delighted him, making the realization that she had no interest in him romantically harder to take.

"Spence, I didn't mean—" Remorse replaced the dismay, but it didn't help.

Spencer forced a smile and said, "I know. But what's wrong with giving me a chance? Is there someone else?"

"No, but there are rules, and—"

"Gideon gave me the tickets, no one is going to enforce those rules."

"Spence, it's just not a good idea. We work together We hang out. I see more of you than I see of my family. You're my colleague and my friend. If we try and cram romance into that—something will give. I'm not a risk taker when it comes to relationships Spencer. I don't want to ruin what I have on the hope of—of whatever might or might not happen. I'm sorry. Tell me how to fix this." Her expression implored him to forgive and forget.

 _How can I not?_

"There's nothing to fix." He assured her. "I didn't know you felt that way." He glanced out the window to escape her gaze and said, "Was the winning pass as exceptional as I think it was?"

"A once in a lifetime." She agreed and clapped him on the shoulder. "Come on, I want to stop by the concession stand and get something to remember this day by."

She bought a jersey with the number of the receiver who had caught the winning pass and handed him the bag. At his confused glance she smiled and said, "A little thank you gift. I know you won't have a lot of opportunities to wear it, but if you want company for any of them, let me know."

###

 _I need to get some redskins tickets._ A small smile found its way into his expression. Their relationship might not have gone in the direction he'd hoped for on that long ago day, but he could not imagine trading what he had with JJ for any amount of romantic bliss.


End file.
